Free Fucking Forever!

Men! Wake up from your fantasies of fucking without consequence and do it for real!

Don't you hate getting those voicemails four months after you broke up with that zany bitch that say..."Greg, please call me. I have something really important to talk to you about."
And, on the off chance that said zany bitch is calling to inform you of a previously-contracted STD, you call her back and..."Greg. I'm pregnant." drops out of her filthy hole (not that filthy hole, the one in her head...sorry, the one in her head that you can fit your cock in).
And even when you hang up on her she keeps calling back and saying the same thing. And a little while after you've been ignoring her calls, you wake up in a sweat, crying in the night having just dreamed about a little boy that looks just like you being pushed in a swing by a guy that looks like a responsible father, then you turn and realize it's you. So you decide that, based on some soft, sickening feeling in your chest or an effectively overwhelming sense of guilt, or maybe even genuine paternal instincts, you call her back and decide to take some responsibility for it.

Well, I hate getting those calls, and I hate the stab of evil in my heart when I wake up in the middle of the night and decide that the best solution is clearly to pay for an abortion, brokered through my lawyer.

But there is a solution! The brilliant Brits have been developing the male contraceptive - finally! You can never trust those clingy bitches and their whole "forgetting to take the pill" routine. Yeah.
So now I can take my reproductive choices into my own hands. Problem is, none of you fucks will go in for the test, so they may never market it!

Fools, fools, fools! You'll all go to hell with the souls of your murdered children on your backs. And it's worse after they've had a couple birthdays. Even though God approves of sacrificing your children, the US Supreme Court sure doesn't - those pansies.