These Are Your Shoes, These Are My Shoes...We've Got Issues

I love you, Slug!


They've got quotes and speech writers, public appearances and eloquent ways of saying stuff, but the candidates' opinions can be pretty well summed up in a few words. (I wonder why they don't try that?)

And the opinions of the candidates on Iraq during this particular sweep of public sentiment are....(drumroll please)

The Democrats

Biden: "We should have known!"

Clinton: "I would have known!"

Dodd: "If only we had known!"

Edwards: "I was wrong." (The only one with a respectably honest answer, so far.)

Gravel: Excuse me, but who are you?

Kucinich: K-k-k-krazy Kucinich, thinking war is bad for Americans...

(I must take a moment here to say that the utterly arrogant, unconscious use of the term "American" to refer exclusively to US citizens is sickening and closed-minded to me. If I ever use that term on this blog, please know that I mean it to be dripping with sarcasm and/or satire of a person or people who believe that we are the only human beings to inhabit this hemisphere.)

Obama: "I knew."

Richardson: "I still don't know."

The Republicans

Brownback: "They need us!"

Hagel: "I do regret that vote [in favor of invasion]." (Respectablly honest answer #2)

McCain: "They still need us!"

Giuliani: "They want to kill us!" (Last I checked, no Iraqis came to the US to kill anybody, nor are any Iraqis walking around on our turf like they're the Sharks. But us Jets sure are struttin around in their hood.)

Huckabee: "This is World War III, and we can't afford to lose." (Actually, Huck, we can't really afford to fight, either.)

Hunter: "We're doing the right thing."

Romney: "We're doing the right thing, the wrong way."

Tancredo: Who? "We didn't know."

Thompson: Excuse me, Tommy Thompson is running for President??